that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
