He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
