You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
