Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
