There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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