sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
