you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
