she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
