"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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