i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
