I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
