he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Congratulations! We have a period
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