i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
