Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
