You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This baby is an asshole
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
