we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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