Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
