I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
