just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
