ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
