Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
