at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
