Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
