1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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