you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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