I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
