You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
