i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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