that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
