Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
