I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
