im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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