Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
