Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
