wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
