wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
