I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
