I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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