Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
