why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
