dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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