There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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