What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
