i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Enjoy the penises
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
