today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
