maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
