I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
