no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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