so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
