I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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