I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
