I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
