How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
