It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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