well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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