If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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