is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
