it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
