i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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