sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
