their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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