I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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