I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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